What About the Emotional Toil of Eldercare?

There is plenty of emotional toil that comes with elder care.  Your parents are depending more upon you not just physically, but emotionally.  It can be a big burden.

Care givers often state they don’t feel like they have a life of their own anymore.  And for good reason.  If you are trying to hold down a job and care for all your aging parents’ needs, you won’t have time for a life.

That’s one of the biggest problems because you need to get away.  You need what I refer to as “small vacations”.  Notice we’re not asking for a trip to Europe of even Florida, we’re asking for an hour or two when we can go to the mall or get our hair fixed or play golf.  Many of us are being denied even that.

A lot of the problem also comes from the single sibling who does most of the caregiving.  You may have several brothers and sisters but if they don’t come over and take turns, you will have to do it all yourself.  That can drive some splinters among you and them which may never heal.

What’s a solution?

Be specific.  Tell your siblings your parents  need help and everyone needs to share the responsibilities together.  Announce you will be taking an afternoon or morning off.  You will expect one of them to come over and work with your parents.

Surprisingly, you may receive more cooperation than you might think.  If you take the lead they will probably respond.   Let them see what it is really like.  If you really need to get emphatic paint a picture of what it will be like if you are no longer able to care give.  Your brothers and sisters might realize they will be stuck with all the responsibility.  It is in their best interest to keep you healthy and somewhat happy.

I know this is rough to face and many of us don’t like to talk about it, but I felt I needed to say we should quit feeling so guilty and get some help.

Preventive Strategies For Healthy Aging-Who Lives the Longest and Why

Fire Safety: Winter Fires Can Be Deadly for the Elderly

Fire Safety is very important during the winter months when fires seem to be even more deadly for the elderly.

Last night a senior citizen was killed in a fire in Chicago that ended up involving one third of all firefighters in the city.  The lady had been trying to get out of her burning apartment.

In Nashville, about the same time, a street person was killed after falling into a campfire. 

As we experience colder nights, we need to keep our aging parents in mind and make sure everyone knows exactly what to do in case a fire breaks out.

Are your parents too feeble to get out on their own?

Do you have an escape plan for yourself and your parents?   Will you be able to find your way out of the house in  case you can’t see because of smoke?  Do you know to stay near the floor?  

Elderly woman dies in Chicago fire 

Aging Parents Authority 2009-11-24 01:55:52

Care givers are unprepared to take care of their aging parents, according to the National Family Caregivers Association.

Most middle age people have not even started researching what elder care needs their parents will need in the future.

In other words, a lot of people don’t have a clue.

Have you had some important discussions with your parents such as what kinds of medical treatments do they prefer  or do they have a living will.

Read Most  don’t plan ahead for senior care decisions

Elder Care: The Biggest Problem

Elder care is an issue many of us are grappling with all over the world.

If you think you’re alone, you’re not.

Here is one of the best articles on the prickly eldercare issues we have ever read.  It is from Rumana Rashid, writing for Bangladesh’s New Nation.

She hits on the most difficult problem of all- changing your lifestyle so  you can care for your aging parents.

That’s hard to handle for most everyone, single or married.

People who have just become empy nesters and are relishing the free time for themselves have a hard time suddenly being thrown back into a parenting position.  Only now you’re parenting a “child” who is elderly and has probably 80 plus years of baggage. 

Singles don’t want to be tied down.  They’ve been free all their lives to go and travel and do what they please.  Now they’re becoming “parents” for the first time, and need a crash course on how to be a parent- to an 80 or 90-year old.

We all have our own issues and personal demons  to overcome.

Read Under One Sky Take Care of Aging Parents